#5 Oppositting with Ralph
July 26, 2024
Potato portraits of me and Ralph growing old together, made over several months in California in 2017
I was told about this guy – RALPH – perfect for me. I was in my mid 20s and although I’d just finished Politics, Philosophy & Economics at Oxford and my favourite magazine was The Economist, I was living hand-to-mouth near Kings Cross with my friend Tiu, trying to make it as a graphic designer.
Ralph worked in a high-flying job in finance, but in his spare time he doodled and made giant papier-mâché animals and baobab trees. So it sounded like we would be two peas in a pod.
Baobabs in Kensington | SO YOUNG | Bottom of the stairs at 348 Caledonian Rd
It turned out though, that we were very different in almost all ways. I like shade, he likes sun. He travels light, I overpack. I birdwatch, he listens for lions. He doesn’t suffer fools, I’m a people-pleaser. I overeat, he snacks. I like bustling markets, he likes remote mountains. I could go on, and I will.
He seeks simplicity, (or so he says!) I am a floating mess of flotsam and jetsam and scraps of sparkly material. My idea of adventure is to cross a city at sunrise to get to a flea market, his is to sail in a small boat across the Atlantic, to get to the other side.
Approaching Valhalla (the Alameda Flea Market, SF) vs. Crossing the Atlantic (it’s not a competition!)
These differences had practical implications, much more in the early years and most in evidence when we were traveling. Specifically, hiking. Every time Ralph saw (sees) a mountain range he would say (says) “Don’t you just want to go there?” No! (NO!).
I on the other hand, had only gone on one hike before I met Ralph, and it had ended badly. If you’ve heard the story about the young British girl who had to be helicoptered out of the Grand Canyon and was in a coma for 3 days, and also had not taken out travel insurance, you’ll know the one I mean.
Anyway I do have a tendency to go with the flow, and so up those mountains I did climb. Ralph always got me safely down.
Up Dune #1 in Namibia with Bea and Mila | Ralph’s hike map | Ralph in Swellendam (ok you were right all along)
Even though I’ve ended up loving hiking, I can’t resist mentioning the Madagascar hike. We traveled for hours by ox wagon in order to hike between/over torturously jagged limestone formations called tsingy for hours in boiling heat. Choices like these were new to me. I spent the forth and fifth hours indignantly listing all the people I knew who would never entertain the thought of doing this. Literally. I named names. You know who you are. Poor Ralph.
But then, at the other end of the day, we found ourselves on a remote beach littered with pansy shells, and everything was perfect. I regard myself as a cheap date in this respect.
Madagascar traveling by ox, Ralph in his happy place (on torture rocks), me in my happy place (with pansy shell)
Ralph thinks big, dreams big, acts big. In art, in life. I think, dream, act, small. My goddess is in the detail of a speck of glitter becoming a jewel on a miniature Frida Kahlo, or a particularly well-seasoned beetroot dip, Ralph’s god is somewhere out there on the Indian Ocean kite-surfing between the waves, or on the open plain behind a herd of elephants.
Ralph tends to get it right about the big things, a lot of the time. I am right about the small things, always. Mawwiage.
Ralph’s art – thinks big, works big. Who else would rewrite The U.S. Constitution in their spare time?
But as you should know by now, I believe that things that seem to be very opposing, can do a merry dance, attract, inform, inspire each other. Or at least, sit amicably side by side, sneaking excited glances in each other’s direction, fascinated. Oppositting, as it were.
Not that Ralph would ever sit for longer than strictly necessary. He’s a busy bee. If he’s sitting it‘s because he’s drawing, cutting, gluing, writing. He makes his office wherever we happen to be.
Ralph at work in the Seychelles (1998), Mozambique (2012) and Botswana (2024)
Anyway, did you guess, it turned out we do belong together. Partly by skipping along on each other’s paths, partly by being happy doing our own thing apart.
Sometimes I feel Ralph may have gotten the short end of the stick. His compromises have included dressing up in various ridiculous costumes and having a house filled with bits and bobs, my great sacrifices have involved traveling through Africa, living on desert islands, discovering the world of birds, diving etc etc, …
Magnificent hike in Iceland | Portrait of a MAWWIAGE | The time I made Ralph dress up as Ruth Bader Ginsburg
There is so much more to say, I could write 20 emails just about Ralph, about all the things it turns out we have in common! Not least a love of the word MAWWIAGE.
And he will certainly be popping into many of the next emails, especially next week when I’ll tell you about our graphics company Last Lemon – The Joy of Many Failures.
Bye for now,
Lisa
A quarter the way there! Time to tick!
1. The Short Origin Story ✔
2. The Long Origin Story ✔
3. A Treasure Trove of Small Stories ✔
4. Africa in My Blood ✔
5. Oppositting with Ralph ✔
6. The Joy of Many Failures: Last Lemon Productions
7. Starting the Art Adventure
8. 2004 – Making Off-the-Shelf Glass Cathedrals
9. 2009 – The World of Custom Commissions
10. 2012 – Wedding Portraits Galore
11. Glass Cathedrals of My Very Own Life
12. 2015 Project 1: One Small Thing
13. 2016 Project 2: This is What Humanity Looks Like
14. 2016 Project 3: The Traveling Bookbox Show
15. 2018 Project 4: The Swerling Circus of Small
16. 2019 Project 5: Here, it’s Beautiful California
17. 2019 Project 6: Cinerama
18. 2020 Project 7: Starstuff
19. Why I Love What I Do
20. ? (it’ll come to me by the time I get here…)